Archive for March, 2010

“Excuse me, but you don’t know me…and I sure don’t know you neither.”

March 9, 2010

I have often struggled to reconcile my pride as an oldest child with Exodus 20:12. For those of you not so familiar with Scripture, that is the fifth commandment, honor your father and mother. I cannot begin to count the times where people have used this verse to tyrannically rule over their children as though they own them like some sort of pet.

There are leaps in logic and a laundry list of verses, theology and biblical principles that are forgotten the moment someone’s child comes into the mix; I realize that my statement maybe rebuffed because I have no children of my own, that I “just don’t know what it is like being a parent”, but I do know pride, judgment, barbarity, spitefulness and bitterness when I see it.

Now, before we get off subject, let me be very clear. I love both of my parents very much, and while we had moments when our relationship was strained, I, in wisdom and hindsight, am very thankful that they cared about what I did, who I was with, where I went, and that they corrected me when it needed to be done. This included getting a spanking and, on only one occasion, being slapped.

To be short and to the point, I have amazing parents who while still keeping a watchful eye on me, allowed me to grow and to find the myself and my place in the world. They let me make my own decisions on people and places, knowing full well that making me swallow their doctrine without consideration would only lead me to rebel against them later in life. Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”

There comes a point in time when parents have to acknowledge that it has nothing to do with them, that their children are going to make choices in trying to build their own lives and it has nothing to do with honoring or dishonoring their parents.

For pity’s sake, get over the idea that you are perfect and know what is best for your children in every single instance. You are not perfect, and in the same way you can politely disagree with any other person alive, you may have to act like that with your children, complete with mercy and grace just like God has with you.