Archive for March, 2011

“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am”

March 31, 2011

The title of this blog is from John 13.

I’ve been contemplating what to do after graduation. Graduation day is on May 7, which is not very far away, and I am starting to doubt all of the plans that I had laid out before me.

I had planned to stay in Nashville over the summer to work and begin grad school in the fall. I have loved my time here at Lipscomb University and I was looking forward to continuing my studies by pursuing my Master’s Degree in Divinity. However, I am finding it difficult to find a place to live with the money that I make at my job. I wouldn’t say that I make bad money, but it is not enough to live on my own, and even with a roommate, I worry about making enough money to pay for my share of the bills, the bills that I have currently, and with paying for graduate school out of pocket. I have acquired too much debt while here at Lipscomb, and tuition continues to increase every year.

On a bit of a side note, my job is not bad. I am a “manager on duty” at the Sheraton Hotel in Downtown Nashville. It is a pretty title, but a bit misleading. I am little more than a glorified security guard. I handle guest complaints, lock doors, escort workers to their vehicles, handle the hotel lost and found, and collect door hangers at night. In retrospect, I don’t think the job was represented to me very well, but I am grateful for having a job right now when so many people are still struggling to find work in this economy.

My job is a great college job. It has decent pay with good benefits. Yet, it is still just a college job. It reminds me every time I go in that I don’t want to be there permanently. I desire to teach. I know that has shifted somewhat over the last couple of years, but I think maybe I have always wanted to teach and I simply didn’t know it yet.

The idea of being able to do what the Bible faculty here at LU has done for me gives me great and tremendous joy. The professors here have challenged me spiritually, lead me to question my theology constructively, and have matured me in my faith more than any number of years in my life combined. I long to continue my studies and to learn as much as I can about this very passionate subject in my life, but I seem to coming up on some sizeable road bumps in the near future.

I have always believed firmly that God takes care of those who are doing and pursuing His will. I don’t mean a version of the Health and Wealth gospel; what I mean by that is God being faithful when you are faithful to Him. Take Moses for example, or just about any other Old Testament figure for that matter. God called Moses to a specific task and role in his life. At first, Moses resisted, but he eventually submitted to the will of God. When Moses listened to God’s call, God was there with him doing wonderful and amazing things. God called Moses to lead his people out of Egypt, and God worked around Moses and with Moses to make it happen. Moses was faithful and God worked. Same with Abraham, Noah, Daniel, Jacob, Rahab, Joseph. They were faithful and God worked.

I am not struggling to be faithful to God, but I am struggling to see past the obstacles and focus more on what I know the Father has called me to do. I have passions in my life that I know have been placed there for a holy purpose, but I am just a man who worries about paying the bills and where I will be living in the mean time.

These are the kinds of things that keep a person up at 3 in the morning, when an 8am class is quickly approaching.

 

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